I fear I may be channeling Miss Snark. This just appeared on my computer screen:
While contemplating a career of selling my extensive collection of literature and research books on e-Bay, it occurred to me that perhaps I ought to consider a different approach to bestsellerdom. Would it help if my proposals:
a.) contained a werewolf or other fuzzy animal, ie: a bunny rabbit?
b.) if I wrote “I am hairy and cuddly” in a dozen different ways, preferably involving sex with another species?
c.) If I moved to New York City?
All of the above.
I fear supporting myself on e-Bay would be prohibitive with the cost of NYC rooms. Would a post office box suffice?
If you can fit into a post office box, yes.
Hamsters will fit in a post office box. Hamsters are furry and cuddly. They like sex, so perhaps two, furry cuddly hamsters would reproduce into an entire line of furry, cuddly creatures who will mate like bunny rabbits and propagate furry, cuddly sales until bestsellerdom is achievable.
Do hamsters growl and draw blood?
These are furry, cuddly were-hamsters who live in a post office box in NYC, having orgasmic sex with the mailman who is a vampire wombat, except a furry, cuddly wombat. They sniff each other on every third page and draw blood on every fourth, and rub each other’s rippling, cuddly fur at least once a page in increasingly imaginative ways and with ever longer sentences.
Send manuscript. Not hamsters.
Dang, and I thought I’d found a way of unloading the mice and that old toupee…
Sorry, I'll shut that channel now and get back to your regularly scheduled programming...
The Taunting Sky
17 hours ago